Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Life goes on...

Happiness is not found in marriage or work; or ministry; or children.  Happiness is found by being secure in Jesus.  ~Corrie Ten Boom

Its been a long time since I last posted.  It has been a roller coaster of a time.  In going through piles of papers I came across an old journal and the above quote was written in it.  In my life I have experienced this quote to be true.  In a messy life the only true source of comfort is Jesus.

I no longer do daycare.  Although I dearly love children, it became to overwhelming and was taking a toll on my health.  Actually, I went to the Lord and asked for a break and He graciously granted it.  However, the way my break came about was not with all pleasantries.  It came in a harsh and cold manner.  The last day I sat my grandsons was June 25, 2018.  I got to see them for a few hours in August when Mark's parents were visiting, but since then I have not been included in their lives.  To say the least, its been heartbreaking.

But as always, the Lord knows these things.  I have no power to change what has happened, however, He does.  So I live life in submission to Him and His plan.  He has all the power to change the situation, so I leave it all in His faithful and caring hands.  So life has been quiet and it has been so needed for my health.  I am working on a healing diet and trying to exercise when I feel well enough to do so.  So that is my life for now, the Lord has granted me to rest in Him.  Since I am not so bogged down hopefully I will have more time to write on this blog.    

Wednesday, July 5, 2017


Where have I been?  The same place as usual, just been patiently waiting for the storm that blew in in May to blow out.  Well, I am happy to say that I have made adjustments and things have calmed down.  Praise the Lord!  But there is still progress to be made and the progress that has been made was not easily come by.

The happiness in all of it has been the precious grandsons.  Always so blessed to have them around.  Recently we took them to Belleview Park.  The park has a little train, a petting zoo and a creek where the kids can play in the water.  The boys loved it and we enjoyed a picnic amongst the shade trees.  It was a wonderful day.

Mark and I took a week off from working to have some down time.  We started our stay-cation with a visit from Mark's high school friend and his new wife.  We spent the weekend with them showing them around Colorado.  We had a wonderful time with them.  Then we spent the rest of the week just hanging out at home resting and doing things we wanted.  I also visited with a girlfriend that I have not been able to connect with for months which was wonderful.

Otherwise I have been doing quite a bit of thrifting.  A new thrift store opened up nearby, too much fun!  Lately, I have had a fashion change.  I have been a pants gal for a number of years, but lately I have grown into a new love of skirts.  Age does funny things to a gals body and for some reason skirts have become very comfortable.  So I have gotten a whole array of skirts from the thrift store.  Its been a fun distraction from the gloominess of storms.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day

I hope that your Mother's Day is joyful for you, but I know there are other mothers out there like me where Mother's Day is painful.  The joy in my day has come from my grandsons Everett & Myles and my sweet daughter in-law.

There is currently so much going on (of which I cannot yet speak of) that my heart is broken.  If you are shedding tears at this Mother's Day, please know that you are not alone.  May our Lord bless you and keep you and comfort you in every way with His perfect love.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Life Struggles

Its been a long time since I last wrote because I have been in somewhat of a slump.  Mark and I have had one virus after another.  Just when we are getting over one another one hits.  On top of that I have been watching children 4 to 6 days a week.  There is a lot of other stuff sandwiched inbetween that I keep private.  I will just say that life has been stressful.

I don't quite know how to put into words the next thing I want to talk about.  It is really hard to deal with.  As you may know Mark & I adopted two boys because I was unable to have children due to endometriosis.  The adoption date was January 8, 1998.  Well, both boys are in their 20's and living on their own now.  The oldest boy lives nearby and I babysit his two boys 4 to 5 days a week.  The 2nd boy moved to another state where he got in contact with his birth family.  Since doing that he has dropped all contact with me & my hubby.  He still keeps in touch with my older son (his brother), but not with us.  Basically, he has dumped us and gone back to his birth family.

On top of that, we have not found another church.  Finding that with what is going on in the world these days it is hard to be a follower of Jesus.  If we hear about a good church it always ends up being quite a distance away.  Also, since we keep getting sick it makes it hard to go.  Neither of us feels up to dealing with a new situation when we are sick.  So we have been content to continue with on-line church.  We've gotten more involved with our on-line church and its been pretty wonderful.  It has been wonderful to get good Bible teaching and be drawn into a closer walk with Jesus.  However, I was lonesome for our old church one day and checked out the newletter.  I noticed that the women did not end up going to that IF conference.  So I got excited and wondered if some good changes had occurred.  So I listened to a current sermon on the podcast only to find out how much more deeply the head pastor has gotten into the emerging church stuff.  And then all the people that I have warned have not heeded my warning and are still there listening to what is being taught.  So that is another reason I have been depressed.

So that is my update.  Even though there has been hard stuff, there has been good stuff too, for which I am thankful.  God is so good, He's so good to me.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Life and Dishes

Last night one of Mark's friends from our old church called and they talked about the church and why Mark left.  And I wrote an email to another one of our friends that wrote and said they missed us at church.  I told them that we have left the church and why.  All I can do is pray people will have their eyes opened.  Lately, I have been feeling like I am the one that has gone astray.  There are so many people that are blind I feel there is something wrong with me. 

Otherwise I have been taking each day as it comes, doing the best I can and confessing my mess ups.  Every week is really busy with the children and I get so tired at the end of the day.  Right now Everett is potty training and it is hard work.  Then on top of that Myles is starting to creep around and get into things.  And then there is my schedule, when I work and for how many hours varies week to week so it is hard to make plans.  But when the kids are here we follow the same schedule and they love it.

In my down time I've been shopping both in store and on-line.  Or turning on a chick flick and eating potato chips late at night when I get the TV to myself.  Funny thing about the potato chips is that I swore off them off years ago.  However, my hubby didn't, so there has always been potato chips around.  It hasn't been till recently that I crave them.  And then too we've gotten into eating ice cream.  Tillamook makes wonderful ice cream and my favorite Tillamook flavor is Malted Moo.

The other day I had a burst of energy and began cleaning out my kitchen cupboards.  I am a dish hound and have collected up many dishes through the years. Well, I've decided that I need to let go.  Some of them are heavy and if not careful they will chip.  I no longer find myself using them because of it.  In my old age I much prefer Corelle which is lighter and doesn't chip.  I recently ordered a new Corelle pattern called Garden Lace (pictured below).

The turquoise color and the pattern around the rim is what attracted me.  I feel I can have these pretty dishes around children and not worry.  Since entering the "Grandma stage" my house has taken on a new decor.  Colorful plastic dishes, sippy cups and bottles in the kitchen.  In the living room a tent, toy box and stuffed animals along with finger prints on the TV screen and a pack of Boogie Wipes. And in the dining room a mini table and chairs, a play kitchen and a high chair.  Its not a designer's dream, but it certainly is child friendly and its home. 

Monday, March 6, 2017


Well, it is very windy here today, gusts up to 60 mph.  Denver is in a drought.  We have hardly gotten any snow this winter.  It has been windy and oh so dry.  I had Mark put food out for the critters last night and a Robin showed up while I was getting dinner ready in the kitchen.  In Colorado that means spring is coming early.  Plus my bulbs in the front yard flower beds are coming up.  The green months here are short. The barren look hangs around for at least 6 months (if not more) and that's half the year.  I can only hope that we get lots of rain because snow will hurt the blooming things as it did last year.

Well, to update on the church situation, we have not even been to a new church.  We have had sickness after sickness.  We can only figure it is the Lord's will for us right now.  If I'm not sick Mark is.  This past weekend I caught a bug my son and grandsons had and I was so sick.  Thankfully this morning I am feeling well enough that I will be able to handle the kiddos.  Anyway, the first Sunday we left the church we took a day to ourselves.  We felt we needed a break after all the heartache, I called it a mental health day.  It was a beautiful day, no snow, just sunshine and warm air so we took advantage of it.  Ever since that day we have been sick and the only other thing was our grandson's birthday party which we had on a Sunday so his daddy could come (because he works on Saturdays).  So we have been doing on-line church.  A church called The Superior Word in Florida has become our home on-line church.  We love Pastor Charlie and this last Sunday he shared our profile write up with everyone which was very sweet.  And we watch other churches as well.  We don't have the physical fellowship, but we are sure being fed.

As far as our old church, a friend called me and let me know that we have left a hole.  She said we are really missed.  And she said that other people are starting to question what the pastors are doing. She said that they are really pushing the small groups and starting to push the purpose driven stuff in the sermons.  Me and my friend cannot believe why these pastors are doing this when they are supposed to know the word so well.  While praying the answer came to me:  "Because they are following a man and not "me".  My friend asked me to pray for her and others in the church.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Life Update

Its been a little over a month since I last wrote.  I've been thinking about posting, but haven't been in a mood to chat simply because I've been so down about our church going astray.  It's been interesting watching the goings on from afar as we still get the church's weekly newsletter.  I opened one of the letters one day and that set me back.  Its been hard and I've been tempted (just being honest).  Mark said he reads the newsletter just as confirmation. The other day he told me that this year the ladies ministry is not having the usual women's retreat, but are instead going to an IF Gathering.  I would definitely not participate in that and you can read about the dangers of IF at Truthkeepers and Lighthouse Trails.

Wow!  Thinking back, I remember getting that call to be a leader in women's ministry.  It was something I had thought about, to play a bigger role.  I could have said "yes" thinking it was totally of the Lord that I was being asked, but instead my first response was that I needed to pray about it, which was good.  When I went to the Lord I heard nothing, which basically means "wait".  I got counsel from my husband, which he said I am too busy, which I am.  There was a deadline of giving an answer.  In between that time of being asked and giving an answer, I was bombarded with guilt at not doing my part, not trusting God to open the time up, blah blah blah.  Well, as you may know from reading my prior post, I declined the position and I am now glad I did.  The leading of the Holy Spirit is so soft and gentle, as in that verse:  1 Kings 19:12 "a still small voice" (KJV).

What's been so hard about this whole apostasy thing is watching people I thought were strong in the Lord peel off in this apostate direction.  And when you tell them the dangers of it, they pay you no mind.  So I am losing friendships.  Again the words of that song:  All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.  I will ever love and trust Him in His presence daily live.  There is a cost to following our Lord, as he described in Luke 14:26-27 and Matthew 10:37, we have to love Him first and most and that may cause problems in our other relationships.

Otherwise, life has been busy as usual taking care of children.  Its a blessing, but my emotions have not been in the best way.  I think I may be under spiritual attack as I have been depressed and irritable more so than usual.  And have had more than my share of viruses.  Ugh!  I hosted a big party for my dear Everett, who turned 3 on Valentine's Day.  It was a great party and I felt like the Lord spoke to me saying "this is your mission field" as I looked at all the guests.  All these young people that don't know him.  Well, this is all for now.  May the Lord bless you and keep you.