Friday, November 2, 2018

Sentencing

This past Monday I attended son #2's first sentencing.  He has another one this coming Monday.  Thankfully the Lord provided a friend to go with me.  Oh my, was it ever a hard day!  It took a lot out of me.  I just have to get through this next one and it will be over.  Honestly, I feel like it has been a sentencing for myself.  Having to face up to things I did not expect or that I saw and did not want to believe.  Also, been doing a lot of replay of the past and sorting things out.  I can't tell you how painful it is.  Not so much because of things I've done, but because of good things I wanted that have not materialized.  And too because of things lost...the agony of that brings a dark cloud.

The day after the sentencing I woke up with an inflamed face.  The rash was back and and my eyes were red and puffy and my hair was falling out.  So I decided I needed a treat day.  On top of that it was a cold, gloomy day and it started snowing.  So I went out to lunch with Mark and treated myself to gluten free sweet potato pecan pancakes with bacon and hot coffee.  It was absolutely perfect!  At the restaurant we ran into one of our old pastors and a deacon.  It was nice to say hello and be on friendly terms even if we don't see eye to eye.

The rest the week has been full of housekeeping, cooking, baking, a little shopping and resting with my kitties. Can't think of anything else to say so I will end here.  Have a happy weekend y'all!

Here is a pic from July 2018 when we went camping at Kenosha Pass.
This was after my DIL had taken the kids away, I look worn out.
I really needed this trip, had a lot of fun with Mark.
Also got bit up by mosquitoes...hehe.
Since then I have learned that mosquitoes are attracted to the color black.
So don't wear black on a camping trip like I am in this picture.
 
 

Saturday, October 20, 2018

My Candida/Leaky Gut Journey

Today I've decided to talk about my years long battle with Candida.  Ever since the last surgery on my bowel in 2013 I've had issues with fungus even with taking probiotic and eating and drinking probiotic foods.  It got bad after I left the hospital, so much so that I was prescribed an anti-fungal med.  I also had to use an anti-fungal powder on my tummy around the incision area.  It eventually cleared up and I thought I was all done with it.

A couple years later my face broke out in odd red patches. I tried to self treat thinking it was eczema.  By the time I went for treatment at urgent care it had gotten infected and I had to go on antibiotic.  The whole ordeal scared me.  I went to my GP to talk over what happened and what I could do to stop this from happening again.  She was less than concerned and not helpful other than to prescribe medication that I never took. I've never gone back to her for anything since then.

Now a couple years out from that, I am reliving the experience.  This time I didn't let the red patches get so big before I went to my neighborhood urgent care facility.  The doctor there was very sharp and recognized it was fungal.  He prescribed a cream which got it to clear up for which I am so thankful.  But, I did research online since doctors tend to give drugs rather than information.  In my research I came across people that said their rash came back after using the creams.  Sure enough, a couple patches on my chin looked like they were trying to make a come back.  Ugh!  So I did even more research and came to the realization that more than likely I have leaky gut (which conventional doctors don't recognize as legit).  It makes sense that my bowel is damaged after all the crud I have been through medically (loads of antibiotics) and stress-wise.  Anyway, it boils down to me needing to change my diet and lifestyle terribly so.

Also, I made the discovery that iodine kills fungus (Candida).  Low dose iodine drops in a glass of water once a day have been helpful. Also, remember those little bottles of iodine that our parents used on our cuts and scrapes when we were kids?  Well, I discovered Walmart carries a colorless version and I've been applying that to the patches on my face and hands.  It stings, but it helps take some of the itch out.  However, its not a cure by itself.  I made the iodine discovery before I went to the urgent care doctor. When the eczema care was not working I took a wild guess that the patches were fungal. I started using silver and the topical iodine. It responded to the treatment better than the eczema care, but it wasn't curing it, thus visiting the doctor.  With his diagnosis of it being fungal and the anti-fungal cream he prescribed clearing the patches up, I knew I was on the right track.

So with my suspicion being validated I knew what vein to research for self treatment.  I can say, with the addition of a new diet and fungal supplements I seem to be making better progress.  Praise God!  Here are the measures I am currently taking:

Anti-fungal Supplements:  NOW brand Caprylic Acid 600 mg 2x a day (planning on adding a 3rd pill at some point) & Gaia brand of Oil of Oregano 3x a day. 

Diet:  Elimination of sugar and foods with white flour.  Basically trying to follow "The Perfect Health Diet".

Also, I've learned about probiotics, the kind you can eat and the pills. I learned that you have to be careful when choosing a probiotic supplement because some contain a "prebiotic" which can be very harsh on the bowel.  And I had picked up a very good brand of probiotic, only to learn it had "prebiotic" in it.  Oh my!  It did a number on my bowel. Thus, I decided to eat my probiotic through yogurt and sauerkraut and also eat my "prebiotics" through veggies. But even that can be too harsh.  Thus some application of the GAPS diet via "bone broth".  I can say that the broth has been very helpful and settling to the digestive tract. And I am also taking Vital Proteins hydrolyzed collagen powder.  And just making the realization that treatment is all about the individual and balance. And that too much of a good thing can be harmful as a bad thing. As the saying goes:  All things in moderation.

Through all of this, I am gaining a whole new take on food being healing rather than a party.  It is hard especially when we associate food with comfort.  With it being Autumn I think of trips to the apple orchard, apple pie, pumpkin pie, apple cider & hot buttermilk biscuits slathered with apple butter.  Or how about Starbucks wonderful Autumn coffee drinks and baked goods?  All those Autumn goodies contain white flour and/or sugar.  Sigh.  But, I am finding that my homemade no sugar added applesauce with lots of good spices is satisfying.  Did you know that adding some fresh ginger root to applesauce is delightful?  A new autumn treat for me!  :-)  Also, I've been making my own broths and learning to cook and bake with new ingredients (gluten free). It basically boils down to taking care of myself in a greater way.  After all, I am not getting any younger and being older I am finding it takes more time and pampering to keep "me" going.  ;-)

I may make this a regular topic I post about.  It will be good to track progress and share recipes.  Until my next post, God bless y'all and Happy Autumn! 

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Life goes on...

Happiness is not found in marriage or work; or ministry; or children.  Happiness is found by being secure in Jesus.  ~Corrie Ten Boom

Its been a long time since I last posted.  It has been a roller coaster of a time.  In going through piles of papers I came across an old journal and the above quote was written in it.  In my life I have experienced this quote to be true.  In a messy life the only true source of comfort is Jesus.

I no longer do daycare.  Although I dearly love children, it became to overwhelming and was taking a toll on my health.  Actually, I went to the Lord and asked for a break and He graciously granted it.  However, the way my break came about was not with all pleasantries.  It came in a harsh and cold manner.  The last day I sat my grandsons was June 25, 2018.  I got to see them for a few hours in August when Mark's parents were visiting, but since then I have not been included in their lives.  To say the least, its been heartbreaking.

But as always, the Lord knows these things.  I have no power to change what has happened, however, He does.  So I live life in submission to Him and His plan.  He has all the power to change the situation, so I leave it all in His faithful and caring hands.  So life has been quiet and it has been so needed for my health.  I am working on a healing diet and trying to exercise when I feel well enough to do so.  So that is my life for now, the Lord has granted me to rest in Him.  Since I am not so bogged down hopefully I will have more time to write on this blog.    

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Update

Where have I been?  The same place as usual, just been patiently waiting for the storm that blew in in May to blow out.  Well, I am happy to say that I have made adjustments and things have calmed down.  Praise the Lord!  But there is still progress to be made and the progress that has been made was not easily come by.

The happiness in all of it has been the precious grandsons.  Always so blessed to have them around.  Recently we took them to Belleview Park.  The park has a little train, a petting zoo and a creek where the kids can play in the water.  The boys loved it and we enjoyed a picnic amongst the shade trees.  It was a wonderful day.

Mark and I took a week off from working to have some down time.  We started our stay-cation with a visit from Mark's high school friend and his new wife.  We spent the weekend with them showing them around Colorado.  We had a wonderful time with them.  Then we spent the rest of the week just hanging out at home resting and doing things we wanted.  I also visited with a girlfriend that I have not been able to connect with for months which was wonderful.

Otherwise I have been doing quite a bit of thrifting.  A new thrift store opened up nearby, too much fun!  Lately, I have had a fashion change.  I have been a pants gal for a number of years, but lately I have grown into a new love of skirts.  Age does funny things to a gals body and for some reason skirts have become very comfortable.  So I have gotten a whole array of skirts from the thrift store.  Its been a fun distraction from the gloominess of storms.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day

I hope that your Mother's Day is joyful for you, but I know there are other mothers out there like me where Mother's Day is painful.  The joy in my day has come from my grandsons Everett & Myles and my sweet daughter in-law.

There is currently so much going on (of which I cannot yet speak of) that my heart is broken.  If you are shedding tears at this Mother's Day, please know that you are not alone.  May our Lord bless you and keep you and comfort you in every way with His perfect love.
   

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Life Struggles

Its been a long time since I last wrote because I have been in somewhat of a slump.  Mark and I have had one virus after another.  Just when we are getting over one another one hits.  On top of that I have been watching children 4 to 6 days a week.  There is a lot of other stuff sandwiched inbetween that I keep private.  I will just say that life has been stressful.

I don't quite know how to put into words the next thing I want to talk about.  It is really hard to deal with.  As you may know Mark & I adopted two boys because I was unable to have children due to endometriosis.  The adoption date was January 8, 1998.  Well, both boys are in their 20's and living on their own now.  The oldest boy lives nearby and I babysit his two boys 4 to 5 days a week.  The 2nd boy moved to another state where he got in contact with his birth family.  Since doing that he has dropped all contact with me & my hubby.  He still keeps in touch with my older son (his brother), but not with us.  Basically, he has dumped us and gone back to his birth family.

On top of that, we have not found another church.  Finding that with what is going on in the world these days it is hard to be a follower of Jesus.  If we hear about a good church it always ends up being quite a distance away.  Also, since we keep getting sick it makes it hard to go.  Neither of us feels up to dealing with a new situation when we are sick.  So we have been content to continue with on-line church.  We've gotten more involved with our on-line church and its been pretty wonderful.  It has been wonderful to get good Bible teaching and be drawn into a closer walk with Jesus.  However, I was lonesome for our old church one day and checked out the newletter.  I noticed that the women did not end up going to that IF conference.  So I got excited and wondered if some good changes had occurred.  So I listened to a current sermon on the podcast only to find out how much more deeply the head pastor has gotten into the emerging church stuff.  And then all the people that I have warned have not heeded my warning and are still there listening to what is being taught.  So that is another reason I have been depressed.

So that is my update.  Even though there has been hard stuff, there has been good stuff too, for which I am thankful.  God is so good, He's so good to me.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Life and Dishes

Last night one of Mark's friends from our old church called and they talked about the church and why Mark left.  And I wrote an email to another one of our friends that wrote and said they missed us at church.  I told them that we have left the church and why.  All I can do is pray people will have their eyes opened.  Lately, I have been feeling like I am the one that has gone astray.  There are so many people that are blind I feel there is something wrong with me. 

Otherwise I have been taking each day as it comes, doing the best I can and confessing my mess ups.  Every week is really busy with the children and I get so tired at the end of the day.  Right now Everett is potty training and it is hard work.  Then on top of that Myles is starting to creep around and get into things.  And then there is my schedule, when I work and for how many hours varies week to week so it is hard to make plans.  But when the kids are here we follow the same schedule and they love it.

In my down time I've been shopping both in store and on-line.  Or turning on a chick flick and eating potato chips late at night when I get the TV to myself.  Funny thing about the potato chips is that I swore off them off years ago.  However, my hubby didn't, so there has always been potato chips around.  It hasn't been till recently that I crave them.  And then too we've gotten into eating ice cream.  Tillamook makes wonderful ice cream and my favorite Tillamook flavor is Malted Moo.

The other day I had a burst of energy and began cleaning out my kitchen cupboards.  I am a dish hound and have collected up many dishes through the years. Well, I've decided that I need to let go.  Some of them are heavy and if not careful they will chip.  I no longer find myself using them because of it.  In my old age I much prefer Corelle which is lighter and doesn't chip.  I recently ordered a new Corelle pattern called Garden Lace (pictured below).

The turquoise color and the pattern around the rim is what attracted me.  I feel I can have these pretty dishes around children and not worry.  Since entering the "Grandma stage" my house has taken on a new decor.  Colorful plastic dishes, sippy cups and bottles in the kitchen.  In the living room a tent, toy box and stuffed animals along with finger prints on the TV screen and a pack of Boogie Wipes. And in the dining room a mini table and chairs, a play kitchen and a high chair.  Its not a designer's dream, but it certainly is child friendly and its home.