Dark Tunnel

Well, between my last post and now, things went down hill.  This has been a very hard trial and where I thought I saw light before has since disappeared.  Prayers are greatly appreciated.

In my last post I mentioned about a wig.  Well, I finally found one and got it styled and wore it out a few different times.  Unfortunately, it has come about that wigs are not quite for me.  The longest I wore it was to my ladies Bible study.  We meet at 9 a.m. and usually wrap up by 11 or noon.  I think that day we wrapped up at noon so I wore it for 4 hours straight.  Everyone loved the wig and thought it was great, but by the time I got home my scalp was in so much pain I couldn't stand it.  I haven't really worn the wig since.  So if I go bald, I am probably going to be wearing a Buff on my head.

May and June have shown more hair loss and weight too.  Down to 96 lbs even though I am eating more.  And I have been having what I call cortisol attacks.  Others might call them panic attacks.  Whatever, I began having these attacks.  One May morning after not sleeping most of the night I went and got the blood test my endocrinologist ordered for me back in February.  I had not been able to do it because of getting so ill in February.  Anyway, that test came back with a high cortisol reading and the A1C was up to 5.7.  So my endocrinologist (Dr. Kim) sent me a letter with the test results saying I need to schedule an appointment.  What alarmed me in the letter was that she said I have pancreatic insufficiency.

Back in February she had given me a prescription for a digestive enzyme called Creon.  I filled the prescription, but did not take it because of all the mess I was going through.  Finally in May I took my first couple of pills and it seemed to instantly calm my cortisol attack.  But my tummy seemed to get upset by the pills so I stopped them.  A few weeks later I was having another bad cortisol attack and decided to take the Creon again to see if it would calm the attack.  It did the same thing again minus the tummy upset. So I have been taking them ever since and it has really made a difference in my digestion.  I can eat without the pain which has plagued me for years.  After seeing Dr. Kim she assured me I don't need to worry about diabetes right now, so that is a load off.  And we decided that my pancreas most likely got damaged from the sepsis in 2007.  And she said with how sick I got in February I should have gone to ER.  She said I could have been septic.

Unfortunately, the cortisol attacks returned after a few days of taking the Creon.  And more hair fell out making my hair even thinner.  I also went to Dr. Lara, and she seems to think that if I can get some good sleep under my belt that all this will go away.  She gave me some pills that were supposed to help me sleep, but I didn't like them.  So I just been sticking with my regular Xanax to help me sleep and taking the herb Ashwaganda which is supposed to help balance cortisol and it really has been helping.  Except I think it might be the cause of my loose stools.  Sigh, always something.

Thankfully, in all this mess, one evening my sweet hubby came home with a big bouquet of flowers for me.  It was so wonderful because I had been having a cortisol attack all day.  So he took me to urgent care.  There they told me they couldn't do anything for me, but then I asked them if I could get a scan of my adrenal glands to make sure there isn't a tumor or something.  So they ordered me a CT scan of my adrenal glands.  So I am getting that tomorrow.  Hoping if there is something wrong that it will show up.  If all is well, then I will have to trod the "mental" route.  Which I have my first counseling appointment this Thursday, sigh. 

Latest pic of me with my thinning hair.

Doesn't look bad with all the hair pushed forward.