Overdue Update

Here I am two years later and my natural hair is worse than its ever been.  In 2020, my hair was making a comeback, but then I got sick with an infection that no one could figure out.  I kept coming down with fever and chills and going to this doctor and that.  Finally in 2021 at Easter I came down with cellulitis and was in the hospital.  After that I was on antibiotic for awhile.

At my 2021 physical, my doctor said my hair was not gaining.  So I started seeing a Tricologist soon after that appointment.  She put me on a program of Minoxidil and a laser cap.  The bad part of the treatment is that both Minoxidil and the laser cap can cause a shed to happen.  Well, I had the shed and my hair is thinner than ever.  But there has been some hope as the top of my head has improved slightly.  And hair has grown in the bad areas where 2 months ago it was looking pitiful.  The program lasts for a year, so I have a ways to go yet. So I wear my wig and hats and keep moving forward.  Hubby and I pray every day for my hair among other things. 

Our oldest son is doing alright.  Our relationship with him is okay.  Our relationship with our younger son, who lives in Utah, is nil. He has cut us off.  However we have a good relationship with his wife in California. 

Mark and I caught a bug from the grandsons after they went back to school in mid August.  Whatever it is it won't go away.  We keep having bouts of weakness, body aches, and just overall not feeling well.  Its been going on since the beginning of September.

Well, that's the update.  There is so much more to tell, however details are for those who want to contact me personally.

*A note to a very special reader, Sherry, if you see this post, please write to me at becky@4finleys.com.

Crying on the Inside

Life doesn't feel merry, but still the Lord sends blessings everyday.  One morning I was particularly distraught and my girlfriend sent a text that she was praying for me.  And that same day my Pastor sent me an email letting me know he was thinking of me and praying.  The next day the Lord sent a friend over and she let me know she is praying for me. My friend said she could feel the peace in our home and she told me that even though I am struggling the Lord is with me.

Okay, why isn't life merry?  On December 3rd, my oldest son left Colorado to go live in Utah.  He left without telling us or saying goodbye.  If it wasn't for my grandson and my daughter in-law I would not know.  Last year my youngest son disowned me and now this year my oldest son has.  There are no words.

I am shedding hair again since the shock of my son leaving (telogen effluvium).  I feel so beat down emotionally, physically and spiritually.  All I hear from the Lord is that He is going to heal me.  He confirms this to me through my girlfriend, through my husband and through my next door neighbor.  All of them who don't talk to one another and are saying the same thing to me, that the Lord is going to heal me.  Right now all I see doesn't look that way.  With a floater in my right eye, controchondritis in my left side, thinning hair, low body weight even though I eat about 4 to 5 meals a day it hard not to feel a shell of my former self.  I catch little glimpses of light here and there, but I am so depressed.  Been trying different antidepressants.  One got me too agitated.  This new one is more soothing, but not sure about it yet.

Also, I bought another wig named Ellis.  It's a short razor cut bob.  Its cute and I enjoy wearing it.  My wigs have names...first wig I bought I've named Patty, second wig was already named Julianne, third wig I've name Willow.  My favorite wigs are Patty and Ellis.  Julianne is not really me and Willow is more me, but is so fussy (which means she takes a lot more upkeep than my other wigs).  I am getting more used to wigs and wearing them more often.

I went to my endocrinologist and found out I am low in iron and ferritin.  As far as ferritin goes the range is 11 to 300.  My ferritin is 27.  At the point when I took the blood test I had a couple of weeks of carnivore eating under my belt, so the level could have been lower prior.  My doctor believes that the number one cause of hair loss is low iron.  So I am eating liver and red meat and hoping for the best.   

Thanksgiving

Sometimes when we are in the midst of trial, it is hard to be thankful.  That is the place I am in.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the blessings I have.  So very thankful for my husband, my home, my cats, my grandsons, my pastor, family and friends.  There is plenty to be thankful for.  But that exhilarating thankfulness that overflows and makes you want to praise the Lord...unfortunately that is lacking in me.

Wednesday we had our grandsons over which was a blessing.  Thanksgiving day, Mark and I enjoyed a very quiet day.  It worked well because I was not feeling my best and I am usually tired after having the boys over.  The Lord blessed me with peace for our Thanksgiving day and He blessed all the food that I prepared.  Everything came out so yummy.  But unfortunately a couple of things popped up health-wise to give me discomfort.  My left heel seems to be swollen and it is painful to walk or stand on.  I don't know why this has happened.  Then last night out of the blue a floater popped up in my eye.  I am going to the ophthalmologist this morning to get it checked out and make sure it is nothing serious.

This morning I came across an article talking about the signs pancreatic patients have when they are not absorbing nutrients from their food. I have the signs. Some of the signs have improved due to the pancreatic enzymes I am taking.  The dizziness I used to have is gone.  The numbness and tingling I had in my arms and legs is gone.  The extreme exhaustion has turned to fatigue. Then there is the fact that I have to clip my toenails more often.  It used to be that they hardly grew.  My eyelashes have grown longer which is nice.  There are other signs, but the one improvement I want the most, my hair, has not improved.

Also, I have changed my diet in the past few weeks.  I am now eating loads of animal protein.  I have always been more on the vegetarian end.  I have never fully excluded animal products, but have always been more about plant products.  I heard about the carnivore diet and got ideas.  I still eat fruit and veggies and some carbs, but way less.  So far my blood sugar levels have lowered and my digestion has improved.  In the past when I cut carbs my body had a fit.  I had read somewhere that when your body gets adequate protein it won't crave carbs.  Well that seems to be true because this time my body isn't having a fit and I am not craving carbs like I have all my life.

Well, this is all for now, better get going with my day.  Hope it turns out to be a blessed day and your day as well. 
  

Lights, Camera, Action

My hubby invited me to a lunch with his co-workers on Friday.  So I got dressed up with a little make-up and my new wig.  I told Mark I was coming in my wig and I think when it went well, he was happy.  He said no one knew it was a wig.  Next, I went to a doctor appointment.  My doctor loved it.  Today, we had our grandsons over.  I showed my oldest grandson this picture of me with the wig and he said I look normal.  So he approved of the wig.  ;-) 

We did our Thanksgiving craft of turkey hands made with sheet foam and feathers.  It always amazes me how much children grow year to year.  Last year I did not get to do turkey hands with the boys, but I am thankful I did this year.  Everett and I did a special picture together.  He did a turkey hand on paper and colored it.  Then I cut it out and we glued it to another picture we made together.  That picture was done with autumn leaves from the backyard that we put under a paper and then colored over the leaf getting the impression.  It turned out really nice and I do so adore children's artwork.  I am blessed because my fridge is covered with it.  :-)

Today I didn't wear a wig.  After wearing the wig for 6 or 7 hours yesterday with a wig grip, my head got a pressure sore.  The wig grip works if I only need to wear the wig for a couple hours.  In fact earlier in the week I went shopping in my wig.  It was a really windy day and my wig did not budge in that wind.  So wig grips work, but for all day I need to use the body glue so I don't get the pressure sores. 

New Wig!

Well, after a 3rd try, I finally found a wig that I feel confident and most comfortable in and that my husband likes.  Of course I would prefer my own hair, but the Lord has not allowed that so far.  However, He has allowed this wig.

This is called "Work It" from Raquel Welch straight out of the box.  Sorry, no make-up for this shot, been having a few facial issues and have had to limit my make-up.  Anyhow, this wig is the most comfortable wig I own (I have 3).  I don't like wigs at all, but if I have to wear one I will choose this one.  When I look in the mirror I feel it's "me" and that is important.  To lose my hair has been the hardest trial ever.  Sniff...tears.  I did not imagine this for my senior years.

Neither did I imagine losing relationship with my sons and pancreatic insufficiency.  Those together are bad enough without piling hair loss on top of it.  My hubby is convinced my hair will come back once I am healthy.  I pray that I do get healthy again.  So far I have been unable to get to 100 lbs.  However, the signs of health I do have are the condition of my fingernails.  Also, my eyebrows seem to be fuller and my eyelashes have definitely gotten longer.  Very amazing since for years my fingernails have easily snapped off (especially in the dry fall/winter season which is now upon us) and my eyebrows and eyelashes have been on the sparse side for years.  So maybe health will slowly but surely envelope me, I pray that it does.

Back to Wigs

Well, my hair seemed to stabilize for a bit, but recently has thinned enough that I am back to wigs. Wearing a wig in the autumn/winter season in Colorado should be fine.  Pictured below is my Julianne wig.  I am not happy about the situation I am in with my real hair and I hope and pray that my God given hair grows back.  For now a wig is going to have to do, and I know I am not alone, there are plenty of other women struggling through just as I am.

I got sick with a tummy bug and wasn't able to eat as usual.  Dropped back down to 97 lbs., but this morning weighed in at 98 lbs. which makes me feel better.  I am not a happy camper right now, but have to keep moving forward with life.

Autumn Update

Well, Autumn begins September 23rd.  Here in Colorado we've had a touch of Autumn, but still mostly warmer temps. Wind has been blowing a lot which I am not fond of.  I got my Autumn decor out and spent a day decorating which was fun.

Now on to how I am doing.  Last I left off I had made a decision to wear wigs.  I went on to purchase another wig and the wig equipment. I wore them for a short bit.  However, because of my husband I have stopped wearing them.  Just between you and me, he doesn't really like them.  He insists my real hair is good enough because he doesn't see bald spots the way I fix it.  Plus I've had a couple of friends tell me I look fine too.  So I have been going around with my headbands and thin hair.  In my opinion it takes guts to do it.

Since last writing I had to adjust my dose of Creon, my pancreatic enzyme prescription. Upping the dosage has been key to me doing better and stabilizing my hair loss.  There is some hair growing in, but not very much right now.  My weight has improved slightly since upping the dosage. I used to be 95 lbs. but now I don't go below 97.  I saw my endocrinologist in early September and she said I need to get my weight up to 105 to 110 range to be healthy.

Currently my weight has been hanging out in the 98 lbs. range.  I am eating several times a day.  I have breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks.  I take supplements, keep sugar to a minimum and eat lots of protein.  I took the grandkids to Chick-fil-A on weekend and we enjoyed their yummy lemonade.  On our way home I felt funny.  When I got home I got my glucose meter out and checked my blood sugar.  I gasped...NO more sugary drinks or food for me.

I am still weak and resting.  If I do too much, which I have, I get super tired and then it upsets my sleep and my emotional state.  So can't have too much stress.  I also found a new Christian counselor.  The first appointment was good, but hard.  I talked about so much stuff and after the appointment I let out a big sigh.  However, when I got home I cried.  Deep down I know there is a cesspool of  traumatic emotions I've not dealt with in regards to health and my sons.  My counselor thinks that dealing with it will bring health to my body.  I certainly hope it does.

The picture below is of Mark and I in the beautiful Colorado mountains.  Some friends from Arkansas came to visit and we took a drive to the mountains with them.  They took this picture of us.  Well, this is all for now.

Happy Autumn Y'all!