Sharing the trials...

I have not shared my trials on this blog for quite a while now.  When I did share way back when, it had caused issues for me so I stopped sharing. I have gotten used to sharing light stuff since then.  However, the situation has changed, so it may be safe to share the deeper things of life.

I still struggle with with my sons.  As you may remember my sons are both adopted, they are biological brothers.  Its been quite a story these past couple of years.  Son #2 looked up his birth parents and got Son #1 involved.  I did not talk to the parents, but I did finally get to see a picture of their birth mother, which Son #1 shared with me.  Anyway, since last writing about my sons, both are married now.  As you may remember, Son #1 was the first to marry as he had a child on the way.  My gorgeous grandson.  Son #2 married last year and they have a child on the way.

Son #2 is still the source of much heartache, so much so that it is hard to talk about.  He left home just before his 18th birthday, dropped out of high school and went to Cali.  He came back for a short period, then went back to Cali again.  (He always leaves because he gets into trouble.)  He got married in April last year.  After 6 months he brought his wife to live in Colorado.  They lived here for 10 months and it was a roller coaster ride the whole time.  He was in and out of jobs, cars, jail and places to live.  I have had the police at my house and creditors calling me on account of his antics.  I had the experience of accompanying my new daughter in-law to court and seeing my son in a prison uniform, handcuffed and a chain around his waist.  He and his wife left Colorado in August without saying goodbye.  After a month he called.  He continues to live life on the wrong side of the tracks.

I used to get terribly upset, but I have learned to leave it with the Lord.  Prayer time for the boys is done with a heavy heart and few words.  Mostly just my spirit groaning within me.  To survive, I've learned to focus on the Lord's return, it is the only thing that brings me joy, excitement and anticipation.  And of course the Lord opened the doors for me to provide daycare for my grandson, which also brings me joy.  The Lord is my strength, my shield, my strong tower to run to.  Praise His holy name!